I can! I can if I think I can!

I'm obviously not good at being a consistant blogger. :/ For that, I apologize. This weekend has been liberating. I am finally down 30.7 pounds! It's honestly such a blessing. I was at a plateau for so long! On Thursday, my sister told me about a show called Ruby that is on Netflix. I decided to watch it and am on the third season in two days... I know. :/ It's that good!
Ruby is a lady with a severe food addiction. She started her journey at 700 pounds and is now weighing a little over 300. Her latest struggle is getting under 300. I can feel her pain, because I am officially half way there and need to get the rest of this off! She has honestly been an inspiration, and I encourage you all to watch her! Not to mention, she is HILARIOUS! I think I am going to need to do what she has done to take those last few steps. Her doctor told her to find five things she can give up to push her to below 300. The things she chose to do was:
1. Giving up diet drinks.
2. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
3. Putting mirrors all around her house to see herself.
4. Getting rid of her "big" chair that she sat in during her 700 pound days.
5. ...and I don't remember the last one...I think changing up her exercise environment.

What I have taken from this is knowing there is something I have to do to get this off. That is to cut out the diet drinks. I have to. It's going to be so hard. But I know I can.
So I guess I should make my list....
1. Give up diet drinks.
2. Not eating past 7 o'clock.
3. Getting more nature in my life.
4. Tanning....fat looks better tan than white..

I will have to go back and revise my list or add to it. But number 3 is so true. The weather is getting beautiful! I should be out there!

I can't believe the way God is working in my life. Honestly, I have prayed to Him to give me the strength to do this even when I don't want to, and He truly has helped me. I attend Celebrate Recovery with my fiance, Chris, and the program covers all addictions. I've known that I need to say I have a food addiction, but I just haven't. God had a way of bringing it to my attention that I needed to be COMPLETELY honest. I have known that I am a food addict, but I need to hear myself say it.

I hope I could encourage you all to make a list. It was hard, but I know it will be worth it.

Start today. Change your life.

xoxo

Fast and Inexpensive Meals!

Hi all! Well I'm sorry it has been a while since I updated!
I know that whenever I started on my "lifestyle change" I had to learn how to mainly watch my portions. I am crazy about going by the serving size. Myfitnesspal helps there too! I always have to look! I had the palate for the right foods, it was just portion that really messed me up.
I figured today I would share some of my daily "eats" I guess you could call it. These are a list of things that I thoroughly enjoy.

Breakfast:
-Whole wheat english muffins with a tbsp of Jif Reduced Fat PB
-Apples with Jif Reduced Fat PB
-One egg white and one whole egg with pepper. Add ketchup. :/
...about the peanut butter...it is my weakness, so I try to have it earlier in the day. I use it for most of my protein.
-21 Frosted Mini Wheats with Fruit in the middle. :)

Lunch/Dinner:
-8 Fat Free Saltene crackers with a tbsp of pb and tbsp of reduced sugar grape jelly
-White meat chicken in a can (it sounds gross but it's good...I get it from Sam's) with mustard, chopped pickles, cumin, and pepper to taste. ...I eat it with 10 Simply Naked pita chips. It's an extreme low fat chicken salad...I can only eat about a half of a can at a time. It gives you more than you would think.
-Subway 6" turkey on wheat with spinach, pickles, banana peppers, a little light mayo and spicy mustard TOASTED!
-6 Gorton's Fisherman fish sticks
-Steamed brocolli with a little garlic salt and a little bit of shredded parm. cheese (FAVORITE!)
-Slices of turkey with pickles and mustard....rollups!

Snacks:
-17 mini twists pretzels with mustard
-Skinny cow ice cream sandwiches
-Sugar Free Jello chocolte pudding

These are just a few of my favorites! I just wanted to prove that you don't have to spend a lot of money to lose weight. It doesn't take much. Chris and I don't have tons of money to do that either especially just cooking for two. Also, being a full time student, I don't have time to make all these indepth lunches and meals. These are all fast and tasty!...Chris actually likes all of it!

:)

Now that the hard part is over with...

Hi all! I hope you're still reading and I didn't ramble on too much in the first post.
Here are some things I have learned and things that have helped me with side notes attached. Also, if anyone has any advice for me...trust me..I'm all ears. I still need all the help I can get.

Enjoy!

1. Exercise does not mean going to the gym and running the elipical for an hour. It is walking down the road, doing vigorous housework to sweat, doing jumping jacks between loads of laundry...ANYTHING. For me, I found Zumba.  It was some money, not going to lie. But nothing like what you pay for a gym membership. It is fun, interactive, and constantly changing. And if you are ADD like me, you need that in exercise. I find myself doing this at 10:00 at night when everything has settled down. But it works for me, because Chris leaves me to myself and I can do it, shower, and go to bed. No one is there to laugh at me or see me struggling to keep up. But it has, honestly, been my life saver. Find what works for you. It will make all the difference in the world.

2.  You have to eat! You have to eat 3 meals a day or even snacks in between. I promise, don't deprive your body.

3. It is not an all or nothing deal. You can treat yourself. If you are like me, you have to have diet drinks. And you can. Just in moderation. Which brings me to number 4.

4. Moderation is key. Don't deprive yourself of anything. If you want a breadstick from Olive Garden, have a half of one. It's better than breaking down and eating the whole basket, right? I can't go without peanut butter...so I don't. I limit my intake of Reduced Fat Jif Peanut Butter to 2 tablespoons a day with a bowl of apples. If that's what gets me from just throwing it all out the window, it's okay, right? Yes.

5. Don't only eat right, but know what you are eating. Myfitnesspal has been my right hand man through this whole change. I log everything. And that helps so much on accountability...again, that brings me to number 6.

6. Have an accountability partner. Weighing into Dr. Caruthers and finally telling Chris what I weigh, after 4 years, has helped so much. Since he is such a logical male, when I get on the scales and get to tell him that I now weigh 195, he can congradulate me. Being honest with him allowed me to have it all out on the table. And it was so hard for me, because if you didn't know, Chris is 6'1'' and 170lbs. He can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. And obviously, he weighs less. When I weigh in, I can share my progress on the printout she gives me and he can see the numbers go down with me. Nothing helps more than having your best friend by your side. Now don't get me wrong, he doesn't tell me what to eat and what not to eat. I do that on my own. But he does encourage me. And that means the world.

7. Be accountable with yourself. Step on that scale. Be honest with yourself. For others, they can weigh once a week...for me, I weigh every single morning. No getting out of it.

8. When I made the comment on knowing what you are eating, I mean everything. I used to only count calories. Now, I am still on a 1200 calorie day diet but I also watch my fat, sugar, carbs, fiber, and protien. Myfitnesspal will help lay that out for you. You will learn the basic changes like what I am talking about.

You will want to be able to eat as much as you can.

9. Keep yourself busy. If you are a bored eater. Don't be bored. There are always other things you can do. Go buy cheap stuff at a thrift store. Go clean something. Just don't sit there. :)

10. Realize it is not a diet. It is a job. If you have a bad day on the job, what do you do? You still go back the next day. So if you eat bad one day (which is completely allowed) don't just think "oh well! I blew it!". Just get your act together. Sleep on it. And start back the next day. In the end, God only gives us one body and we have to work with it.

11. Skinny does not mean healthy.

12. You waste so many grams of sugar on a 100 calorie pack...

13. Cut out the fast food.

14. Cut out the sweet tea..it's like having a piece of chocolate cake with every meal.

15. Substitutions are key, as well. Mustard instead of Mayo. Simply Naked Pita chips instead of Doritos. Salsa instead of cheesedip. Sweet N Low or Splenda instead of sugar. Wheat bread and pasta instead of white. Diet drinks instead of regular. Dark chocolate instead of milk.

Your pallet will get used to the tastes and you will start craving what's right, especially when you see how much better you feel. You will crave veggies and fruit. I promise. Give your body time.

Being 27 pounds lighter and now in a size 12, I have never felt better. You will have days that are rough but just take it one day at a time. Don't think about all you have left to lose. If all I thought about everyday was that I have 33 pounds to lose before I am happy, I would never get there. Just think...one pound a week. Focus on present so you can love the future.

We can do this. I will be here for you, if you will be here for me.

It all starts today.

Hello. :)
This is not the first time that I have thought about blogging, because then I, honestly, didn't feel that I was ready. I needed to focus more on myself. And I was right. But now I am ready to help others who have came to me and asked. This seems to be the easiest way to do so. But before I say anything else, I want to say that I do not have it all figured out. I still struggle, and I have come to terms that I always will. I am not a licensed dietician and/or therapist. The reason for me doing this is to fill that part in my heart that finds peace in helping the people around me. These are just the things that have worked for me and they might not work for everyone else. But I sure hope they help...at least. :)
I guess I should start with myself. I have dieted all my life. Name a fad diet, and I can guarentee you that I have done it. ...and failed. I have always had a weight problem...well since I can remember. I got "it" honest, as most would say. I have never been able to eat fast food, drink sugary drinks, or eat tons of candy. Now, that's not to say that I have before. But I quickly learned my body couldn't afford it. The hard thing about me was since I didn't have bad habits...I couldn't just "cut them out". I ate healthy and those were always my first choices when it came to food. I already did and preferred the basics: mustard instead of mayo, wheat instead of white, salsa instead of cheesedip, diet coke instead of regular, etc. I don't have skinny highschool pictures in my old albums or skinny jeans in my closet. I have never been able to wear a bikini or wear a tank top with no sleeves. So being skinny has always been an acheivement that I can't even partially relate to.
I can say, it has all started with honesty. After my last diet that I failed in May of 2011, I found myself an emotional wreck. I had drained my body. My OCD-self let my house be out of control and let my body feel miserable. There had to be an easier way. And I was wrong. There is not an easy way...but there is a better way and in turn, will help make it somewhat easier. It took me forever to realize that. And on that day, as hard as it was, I googled "food addiction" and felt my name should have been written in bold on the website. I fit almost every single qualification. I will just highlight the ones I fit into, just to give you a general idea.
1 Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found you just couldn't?
2 Do you think about food or your weight constantly?
3 Do you find yourself attempting one diet or food plan after another, with no lasting success?
4 Do you binge and then "get rid of the binge" through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging?
5 Do you eat differently in private than you do in front of other people?
6 Has a doctor or family member ever approached you with concern about your eating habits or weight?
7 Do you eat large quantities of food at one time (binge)?
8 Is your weight problem due to your "nibbling" all day long?
9 Do you eat to escape from your feelings?
10 Do you eat when you're not hungry?
11 Have you ever discarded food, only to retrieve and eat it later?
12 Do you eat in secret?
13 Do you fast or severely restrict your food intake?
 14 Have you ever stolen other people's food?
15 Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have "enough?"
16 Do you feel driven to exercise excessively to control your weight?
17 Do you obsessively calculate the calories you've burned against the calories you've eaten?
18 Do you frequently feel guilty or ashamed about what you've eaten?
19 Are you waiting for your life to begin "when you lose the weight?"
20 Do you feel hopeless about your relationship with food?

All but two...see?
Mine was mostly psychological and that's where most addictions lay, isn't it? I thought about my weight in some way or another atlead 85%-90% a day. Sad, I know. And I still do. Just in a different way. In a healthy way.
But I can honestly say, that was step 1. And I didn't take step 2 until November (after my engagement-mind you.)
I had bought a gym membership...it was my third one, I believe...and finally just realized that I was not going to go. It bored me to death and it still does. That's why I don't go. Not only did it bore me, but once I would go, it would be the end of my day. I had to go shower and re-do my hair and everything afterwards. I couldn't afford to do that. On the same token, I wouldn't go at night. So the gym was just a bust for me.
Now, these are the things that made it so hard for me. And I'm laying it all out there for you: just warning. I weighed *deep breath* over 220lbs and had maintained that for three years (at least) and in a size 16. I have never shopped in plus sizes or even needed to. I'm built so evenly that most people didn't believe I weighed that...but I did. Sadly enough. I have a man in my life who loves me for who I am and has never mentioned my weight to me. And to be honest, before him, I never had a problem finding a man. That helped to. Obviously there wasn't too much wrong with me, right? Wrong. Also, I was healthy. No bad blood work for me or anything. That went with the way I ate...not bad at all. Those things made it difficult for me to realize how much I needed the change.
I got engaged in August and in the beginning of November, it hit me. I will be getting married a year from now. My wedding pictures won't hide anything and I will have to look at those fat pictures and regret not making a change for the rest of my life. Then, on the same day, I had saw a quote on pinterest that said....

I knew it had to happen. My sister and I had made an appointment at Dr. Caruthers at Options Diet Clinic on November 7. I owe that lady a lot. Honestly.
But going into it, I was not too interested. She put us on Adipex (which I had been on before), so all I could think was..."here we go again...this isn't going to work." But she taught me how to eat with it. And that's what I needed. For Adipex, you have to know how to eat with it. While taking it, you won't want to, but you have to. That's all she needed to tell me. Before, I wouldn't eat with it and then when my body got used to it...I was back at square 1. But Adipex just helps your mental process and hopes that once it wears off, you will have the lifestyle change achieved. Finally, I do.
She taught me so many things and I have learned some on my own. She measured me and showed me that the lowest I ever need to weigh is 150-160. No one has ever done that before. They would look at my height and say I needed to weigh 120lb. That was discouraging enough as it was. I had measurements in the optimal region (explains still being in a size 16 at that weight) and that helped, as well. There is such thing as "big boned"...and I am that, for sure. We were on an understanding that I had good eating habits but my workout schedule was....zero. That's where I needed to improve. I told her about the gym and I's relationship, and she looked at me dead in the eye and said, "You're a perfectionist, aren't you?" YES! She said that is where I mess up. You don't have to be in the gym to get adequate exercise, and that was all I had ever known. That helped a lot.

The rest is history. But I'll share the things she taught me and things I have taught myself in the next post.
:)

And remember:

It's never too late.